Rules for safe gaming

As parents, you guide your child through their growing years, be it learning to walk, swim or ride a bike. Parents are there to provide a supportive, encouraging and safe environment. You also help your child learn good road safety practices by explaining traffic rules and making sure they can get around safely.

Kids get involved in any number of activities as they grow up and video games will more than likely be one of them. As in other areas of life, it is important to know and follow the rules of gaming too. By helping your child learn good gaming habits and establishing clear rules, you are helping them to be confident and sensible users of this medium.

Video game screen time and rules: Finding a balance

How much time should my child be spending on computer and video games? This is a valid question to which there is no standard answer. But there are a few rules of thumb. You know your child best, for example when they need a break to play or a break from play. Trust your instincts and establish appropriate rules.

Keep the following in mind when agreeing on screen time limits with your child:

• Your child’s age: The younger the child, the shorter the screen time should be and the more breaks should be scheduled.
• Developmental stage: Every child is different. Consider your child’s ability to concentrate and monitor their own behavior, as well as their sense of responsibility.
• Media experience: Does your child already have experience with video games? Do they know the important rules?
• Type of game: Short dexterity games or long strategy and world-building games? Games differ in terms of the kind of concentration they require.
• Time required to play the game: Some games can be paused easily, others require longer sessions in order to save progress.

Screen time for younger children:

Because younger children cannot concentrate for long periods, their screen time should be gradually increased with age.

New games can be especially riveting, like an exciting book. Gaming for a little longer once in a while is not a problem, as long as it doesn’t become a habit. During the week, it may be effective to limit screen time so that kids devote enough time to school and sleep. Time is an abstract concept that younger children don’t yet understand. A visual aid like an hourglass can help kids to better adhere to agreed screen time limits. Another practical example for limiting screen time: Allow your child a block of time per week, such as five game rounds per week, and put five stones in a box representing the rounds. Every time your child plays the game, they remove one stone. Once all the stones are gone, your child has used up their block of time for that week. Refill the box the following week. Using a method like this, your child learns to be aware of how they are using their screen time.

Screen time for older children and adolescents:

Flexible weekly screen time, such as a time budget, helps older children to take responsibility for their gaming habits and avoid stress. They also learn not to start lengthy game rounds right before meals or bedtime. Having a good sense of time helps them to divide up their screen time sensibly.

Many games can be paused or saved, but this often is not an option for games played online with other people. It’s okay to be understanding if your child wants to finish a game round. After all, you wouldn’t switch off a movie right in the middle of the most exciting scene. To avoid unnecessary conflicts, remind your child ahead of time about when they have to quit.

Gaming habits: Recognizing warning signs and taking action

Kids and teens often get into phases of intensive gaming because a game is especially exciting and fun. Some games are based on business models that deliberately entice players to play longer. Such games include, for instance, push notifications, limited-time offers, or the threat of losing progress or playing figures if the game is paused for too long. These mechanisms are designed to hook children to play more or to return to the game time and again. It is important to be aware of these strategies so that you can better control video game consumption.

The USK adds the descriptor “pressure to play excessively” to the rating information of games associated with this kind of very high risk. Monitor your child closely for this reason. Extended screen time should be interrupted at regular intervals for breaks. In the long term, excessive gaming can have a harmful effect on your child’s health.

The following symptoms are signs that your child may be playing too much:

• Headaches
• Irritability
• Fatigue
• Nervousness
• Loss of interest

Some changes in your child’s behavior are a normal part of puberty. But if you notice fundamental changes or health issues in your child due to gaming, then their screen time should be reduced or an alternative game found. Make sure your child gets exposure to a variety of free time activities, and talk openly with them about your observations and possible alternatives.

If your child temporarily displays some of the symptoms listed above, they are not automatically “sick.” Seek professional help if you observe the following symptoms over an extended period:

• Loss of control: Your child cannot stop gaming no matter what the circumstances.
• Preoccupation: Your child does not pursue any other interests.
• Isolation: Your child neglects relationships and everyday responsibilities.
• Denial: Your child ignores the negative consequences of gaming on their daily life, the family and school.

Effective rules for total media time: A general limit instead of individual times

Kids and teens use many different kinds of media simultaneously for information, communication, or entertainment. The most effective solution is to establish rules for total free time media use instead of individual time limits for gaming only, for example by writing up a media use agreement. In addition to specific time limits for gaming, it can cover television, computer, tablet, and smartphone use. Time spent using media for school should not be included in the agreement.

Recommended recreational screen time

Alternative for children ages 12 and up: Agree on a daily or weekly time budget.

A rule of thumb: 10 minutes x your child’s age per day, or 1 hour x age per week.

In-game spending

Video games are accessible today through various channels and platforms, be it smartphone apps, game consoles, PCs, or internet browser games. Games purchased on a data carrier in a store often include online functions, such as multiplayer modes, updates, and additional content. In many cases, these functions generate added costs, e.g., for plug-ins or subscriptions to online services. Parents should familiarize themselves with potential purchase incentives and added costs (in-game purchases).

In-game purchase options are not only a feature of free games and apps, but also of full-price games with online functions. Many games offer extras for a fee, such as cosmetic items for game characters, special objects, or random objects (loot boxes). Some games use design techniques that encourage players to spend money or play longer. When kids and teens compete in a game, they can become very focused on specific achievements or exclusive content as status symbols.

In particular, the urge to collect rare objects or special characters can induce them to spend money for these extras. The temptation grows when elements like these in a game are perceived as very valuable or prestigious.
The following aspects can help you and your child to handle in-game spending responsibly:

• Start early: Talk to your child before they start gaming about potential costs and in-game purchases. Explain how and why many games can involve the spending of real money.
• Set limits: Establish clear limits on how much money your child may spend on games or in-game purchases, and be consistent about sticking to to those limits.
• Take responsibility: Be sure to retain control of all payment methods (e.g., credit cards, PayPal) and do not share the password for purchase confirmations with your child.
• Be aware of the sense of urgency: Explain how some games use design elements to encourage players to spend money.
• Understand what you are purchasing: Ask your child why they want to buy something in a game and clarify together if it is possible to enjoy the game without these extras.
• Create learning opportunities: Talk with your child about how to manage money responsibly. Game currency converters on the internet can help to show how much game currency is worth in euros.
• Be understanding: It’s okay to allow in-game purchases once in a while, just like you treat your kids to candy – as long as it’s in moderation.
• Keep talking: Talk to your child regularly and ask what they have purchased so that you know what’s going on and can identify any potential problems early.

To avoid unexpected costs, parents should set up user accounts together with their child and either create a password for in-game purchases or block them entirely. Do not allow your child to use your own account for gaming if it allows purchases. Talk to your child about how to use payment methods safely. One option is to use prepaid cards that give your child a fixed budget to spend. It also is possible in many cases to block paid services on a smartphone or landline in order to prevent unwanted expenses.

Protecting personal information

To use online services, it often is necessary to create an account, which usually only requires an e-mail address. But sometimes users are also asked to enter personal information. Oftentimes, it isn’t immediately apparent how this information will be used. For this reason, help your child to set up accounts, check which personal data is required, and if it is shared in any way. Children and adolescents should learn how to be careful with their personal data on the internet. When creating profiles, use pseudonyms instead of real names and avatars instead of real photos, especially if the platform supports interaction with strangers.

Why you and your child should be careful with personal data:

• Protect against identity abuse: Personal data can be used by others to create fake profiles or to impersonate you.
• Avoid unwanted contact: Strangers could use personal data to gain trust or specifically contact you or your child.
• Preserve privacy: Once shared, it is very difficult to delete personal information off the internet and it could have unexpected consequences in the future.
• Risks of location data: Information on where you live or your current location can be a risk, particularly if strangers have access to it.
• Use of data for commercial purposes: Many companies use personal data for advertising or they sell it. Check to ensure that this is not permitted when the user is a minor.

Actively support your child in the digital world and take time deciding how to safely manage personal information. Talk with your child regularly about the potential risks and why it’s important to be cautious. Take advantage of the support services designed for parents and children which many platforms offer. These steps help you lay the groundwork for responsible and confident internet use.

Interacting with others

Many online games include text, voice or video chats. Interacting with friends or the community is necessary in some games to discuss strategy. It fosters team spirit and helps kids to develop communication skills. Communication functions can be disabled in most cases, but this can considerably diminish the quality of the gaming experience, especially in team games.

Verbal attacks and insults can occur when communicating in online games and on platforms like Twitch, Discord, or YouTube. The anonymity of the internet lowers inhibitions, and insulting or abusive messages are common in gaming communities. Many young people are often unaware of the impact their words can have, because they don’t see their counterpart’s reaction. Deliberately toxic behavior also exists, especially towards new and female-perceived players, who are frequently the target of insults and disparaging comments. Like other places online, gaming communities can also be a gateway for disinformation and extremist content. Attempts are sometimes made to influence young people through hidden messages and symbols of extremist ideologies.

Important tips for being safe and respectful to others on the internet

• Block unwanted contacts: Encourage your child to block insulting or pushy people and to stop communicating with them entirely. Many platforms have simple functions for this or provide youth protection contact information.
• Use moderated chats: Have your child use gaming platforms with chat moderation if possible. In these games, trained people quickly delete any problematic content.
• Identify disinformation: Your child should be aware that not everything shared online is true. Critically questioning information is important. Talk with your child about how they can distinguish reliable information from fake information.
• Be respectful towards others: Whether or not you are online, the same thing applies: It’s important to be polite and respectful. Your child should not be engaging in insults or harassment.
• Speak up for what’s right: It’s important to speak out for what you believe and against hate speech or disinformation, especially as it relates to attempts to spread ideological content.

Other players often use anonymous names or pseudonyms – which is standard practice in online communication and important for protecting your own privacy and safety. However, it also means that the true identity and intentions of others usually remain unclear. This leads to the risk of adults trying to approach children online and gain their trust through manipulation (“grooming”). Young children in particular are apt to quickly trust online contacts and often think that fake information about age, hobbies, or photos is true or real. But in serious cases, what appears to be harmless can lead to dangerous situations, including sexual assault and abuse.

Internet safety: Important topics of discussion for parents and children

• Recognize grooming: Explain to your child that there are adults online who pretend to be kids of the same age in order to gain trust and manipulate children.
• Be wary of online friends: Your child should be aware that not everyone online is the person they portray themselves to be. Photos, hobbies, and age are easy to fake.
• Supervise your child’s meetings with online friends: Agree that your child may only meet online friends with your permission, and then only at public places and under supervision.

Talk to your child regularly about their experiences online and encourage them to always trust their gut reaction if something feels uncomfortable. Teach them that respectful behavior should be the standard even online, and that it is okay to set boundaries or get help. By discussing clear rules and safety strategies together, you can help your child to be safe and confident in the digital world.

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Melanie Endler

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